Woman gets cheated on by her husband

A woman gets cheated on by her husband. Devastated, she doesn’t know how to continue to live her life. She heard that there’s a very wise monk who lives up in a mountain, and decided to go there to consult him.
After few days of traveling, walking, climbing, she reaches the top and meets the wise monk. “I have spent my whole life with him, my youth was dedicated to support him, take care of him. And now he left me with a young woman. My life is stolen, and I’m left with nothing. I don’t know what to do.”

The monk gives her a cookie and asks her to eat it.

After she finishes eating, he ask, “Is the cookie delicious?”

“Yes,” she answer.

“Do you want another one?”

“Sure, please.”

The monk looks her in the eyes and said, “Do you see the problem now?”

The woman thinks for a while, and then slowly speak, “I guess human nature is greedy. You got one, then you want more, maybe a new one, bigger one. It’s never enough. And nothing lasts forever, anything is impermanence. We should be aware and not disappointed for that.”

The monk shakes his head, “No, I mean you are too fat, you should eat less.”

“””””

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Plane engine failed

Three men were flying in a small plane when the engine failed.

To their disappointment, there were only two parachutes on board. After a couple of minutes of silence, one of the men said:

“Look, guys, I need to take one of the parachutes. I’m a single father with three children to feed.”
The other two agreed and gave him one of the backpacks. The father put it on and jumped off the falling plane.

“So, it’s me or you now, eh?”, said one of the two men still on the plane.

“Oh, just take a parachute and jump off,” said the other one.

“But then you’ll die”.

“Nah, dude, I’ll just take the second parachute”.

“What do you mean? You just gave it to that guy that jumped off”.

“I gave him the backpack where we kept the food. After all, he said he’s got kids to feed.”

“””””

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The cheating wife

A guy thought his wife was cheating on him.So he waited for her to leave that night and jumped in a cab to follow her. By following her he found out she was working in a whorehouse.

The guy says to the cabbie, “Wanna make a $ 100?” The cabbie says, “Sure, what do I have to do?”. The guy replied that all the cabbie has to do was go inside the whorehouse and grab his wife and put her in the back of the cab and take them home. So the cabbie goes in.

A couple of minutes later the whore house gets kicked open, and the cabbie is dragging this woman out who is kicking, biting, punching, and fighting all the way to the cab. The cabbie opens the door to the cab, throws the girl inside, and tells the man, “Here, hold her!!” The man looks down at the girl and says to the cabbie, “THIS AIN’T MY WIFE”. The cabbie replied, “I KNOW, IT’S MINE; I’M GOING BACK IN FOR YOURS!!”.

“””””

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Thinking he was being funny

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife.

Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!”

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn’t let such a comment go un-rewarded.

The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer. “What the Heck is this??” he said to himself as a little ‘dust’ cloud appeared when he shook them out.

“April,” he hollered into the bathroom, “why did you put talcum powder in my underwear?”

She replied… “It’s not talcum powder… it’s Miracle Grow.”

“””””

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