Teacher asks her class

A teacher asks her class “If there’s 14 crows sitting on a fence, and you shoot 2 off, how many crows are left on the fence?”

One little boy says, “None, the sound of the shotgun scared them all away.”

The teacher says, “Thats not the answer I was looking for, but I like the way you’re thinking!”

The little boy then says “I have a question for you.

There’s 3 women eating Ice cream cones. 1 Woman is licking, another woman is sucking, and the 3rd woman is biting the ice cream. Which one of the ladies is married?”

The teacher answers, slightly embarrassed, “I would imagine it’s the one sucking?”

The boy says, “No, it’s the one with a wedding ring, but I like the way you’re thinking!”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

A priest, a doctor and an engineer went golfing

A priest, a doctor and an engineer went golfing. They were stuck behind a really slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, “What’s with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!”

The doctor chimed in, “I don’t know, but I’ve never seen such inept golf!”

The priest said, “Here comes the greens-keeper. Let’s have a word with him.” He said, “Hello George, What’s wrong with that group ahead of us?

They’re rather slow, aren’t they?” The greens-keeper replied, “Oh, yes. That’s a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime!.”

The group fell silent for a moment. The priest said, “That’s so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.” The doctor said, “Good idea. I’m going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there’s anything she can do for them.” The engineer said, “Why can’t they play at night?”

“””””

Loco Domains has .com domains for only $11.99.

Human Life Explained

On the first day, God created the dog and said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a life span of twenty years.”

The dog said, “That’s a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I’ll give you back the other ten?”
And God saw it was good.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said, “Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I’ll give you a twenty-year life span.”

The monkey said, “Monkey tricks for twenty years? That’s a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?”

And God, again saw it was good.

On the third day, God created the cow and said, “You must go into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer’s family. For this, I will give you a life span of sixty years.”

The cow said, “That’s kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I’ll give back the other forty?”

And God agreed it was good.

On the fourth day, God created humans and said, “Eat, sleep, play, marry and enjoy your life. For this, I’ll give you twenty years.”

But the human said, “Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?”

“Okay,” said God, “You asked for it.”

So that is why for our first twenty years, we eat, sleep, play and enjoy ourselves.

For the next forty years, we slave in the sun to support our family.

For the next ten years, we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren.

And for the last ten years, we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

Life has now been explained to you.

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone

A blond man shouts frantically into the phone.

“My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only 2 minutes apart!”

“Is this her first child?” Asked the doctor.

“No. This is her husband.”

—–

A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette were all lost in the desert.

They found a lamp and rubbed it. A genie popped out and granted them each one wish.

The redhead wished to be back home. Poof! She was back home.

The brunette wished to be at home with her family. Poof! She was back home with her family.

The blonde said, “Awwww, I wish my friends were here.”

—–

A guy was driving in a car with a blonde.

He told her to stick her head out the window and see if the blinker worked.

She stuck her head out and said, “Yes, No, Yes, No, Yes…”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.