Three men are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia
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Three men are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia

Three men are in a hotel room in Soviet Russia. The first two men open a bottle of vodka, while the third is tired and goes straight to bed. He is unable to sleep however, as his increasingly drunk friends tell political jokes loudly.

After a while, the tired man gets frustrated and walks downstairs for a smoke. He stops in the lounge and asks the receptionist to bring tea to their room in five minutes.

The man walks back into the room, joins the table, leans towards a power outlet and speaks into it: “Comrade major, we want some tea to room 62 please.”

His friends laugh on the joke, until there is a knock on the door. The receptionist brings a tea pot. His friends fall silent and pale, horrified of what they just witnessed. The party is dead, and the man goes to sleep.

After a good night’s rest, the man wakes up, and notices his friends are gone. Surprised, he walks downstairs and asks the receptionist where they went.

The nervous receptionist whispers that KGB came and took them before dawn.

The man is horrified. He wonders why he was spared.

The receptionist responds:

“Well, comrade major did quite like your tea gag.”

“““““

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3 frogs get arrested
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3 frogs get arrested

The first frog goes in and the judge asks him, “What’s your name?”

“Frog,” he replies.

“What did you do?” “I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, your honor.”

With that, the judge lets him go.

The second frog goes in. “What’s your name?” asks the judge.

“Frog Frog.” “What were you doing?”

“I was just blowing bubbles in the pond, sir.”

With that, the judge lets him go. The third frog comes in.

The judge says, “Let me guess, your name is Frog Frog Frog.”

The frog says, “No, my name’s Bubbles.”

“““““

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i had it all
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i had it all

I talked with a homeless man this morning and asked him how he ended up this way.
He said, “Up until last week, I still had it all. I had plenty to eat, my clothes were washed and pressed.

I had a roof over my head, I had HDTV and Internet, and I went to the gym and the library.
“I was working on my MBA on-line. I had no bills and no debt. I even had full medical coverage. ”

I felt sorry for him, so I asked, “What happened? Drugs? Alcohol? Divorce? ”

“Oh no, nothing like that,” he said. “No, no…. I was granted parole.”

“““““

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The Priest and the Frog
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The Priest and the Frog

One fine sunny morning, the irish priest took a walk in the local forest. He had been walking by the small stream when he noticed a sad, sad looking frog sitting on a toadstool.

“What’s wrong with you?” said the irish priest.

“Well,” said the frog, “the reason I am so sad on this fine day is because I wasn’t always a frog.”

“Really!” said the irish priest. “Can you explain!”

“Once upon a time I was an 11 year old Choir boy at the local church. I too was walking through this forest when I was confronted by the wicked witch of the forest. ‘Let me pass!’ I yelled, but to no avail. She called me a cheeky little boy and with a flash of her wand, turned me into this frog you see before you.”

“That’s an incredible story.” said the irish priest. “Is there no way of reversing this spell that the witch has cast upon you?.”

“Yes” said the frog, “It is said, that if a nice kind person would pick me up, take me home, give me food & Warmth and with a good nights sleep would wake up a boy once again.”
“Today’s your lucky day!” said the irish priest, and picked up the frog and took him home. The irish priest gave the frog lots of food, placed him by the fire and at bedtime put the frog on the pillow beside him. When the irish priest awoke, he saw the 11-year-old Choirboy beside him in bed,

And that your honor is the case for the Defense……. ”

“““““

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