A business man is leaving his wife for a week and has concerns about her straying while away. He visits a number of adult toy stores looking for something that will keep his wife “busy” while he’s gone. After hours of searching he eventually stumbles into a Chinese Herb and Erotic Tincture shop in Chinatown. After telling the old man running the store of his dilemma, the old shopkeeper thinks for a bit.
He says, “I think I have something that will work, but it’s not for the faint of heart or for the undisciplined. In fact, it may be too much for your wife.”
The man’s interest piqued, says, “If it wears her out, that’s even better. I’ll take it.”
After many more warnings and even more haggling over the price, the shopkeeper produces an old wooden box, inscribed in gold with beautiful pictograms and unknown writing. “This is the voodoo dick. To make it work, your wife must simply say ‘Voodoo Dick – vagina’.”
The man, not sure if he believes what he’s hearing asks for a demonstration. The shopkeeper opens the box and exclaims, “Voodoo dick – the cabinet”. Pointing to an old cabinet in the corner of the shop, the voodoo dick rises out of its box and flies across the shop and starts pounding at the keyhole. As it’s pounding, the cabinet begins to shake as the voodoo dick chips away until the cabinet eventually crumbles into a pile of wood and splinters.
The old shopkeeper then says “Voodoo dick – your box.” The voodoo dick obediently flies back into the box with the lid snapping shut behind it.
Agreeing to the exorbitant price and happy with his purchase, the man leaves the store with his wife’s new toy.
The next morning as the business man gets ready for his trip, he tells his wife that he’s got a present for her. He has her get undresses and lie on the bed and then opens the box and exclaims, “Voodoo dick – her vagina.” The man then tells his wife that she only need to say “voodoo dick – your box” when done.
In her state of excitement, however, she completely ignores and disregards his instructions. The husband, leaves for his business trip comforted in the knowledge that his wife will have no reason to stray.
After several hours of orgasms and immense pleasure, and a few half hearted attempts at getting the voodoo dick to stop, the woman finally decides she has had enough. Unfortunately she still can’t remember how to stop it. She yells everything she can think of, “voodoo dick, stop”, “voodoo dick, halt”, and on and on. Nothing is working.
She finds the receipt with the address of the shop and decides to head to the shopkeeper for help. She struggles to get dressed as the voodoo dick continues to relentlessly give her orgasm after orgasm. She gets in her car and heads towards Chinatown, swerving across lanes and squirming around in her seat.
A policeman sees the erratic driving and behavior and pulls the woman over. Seeing her disheveled appearance, he asks, “Is everything ok, are you having a medical emergency?”
The woman collects herself the best she can and says, “My husband got me a voodoo dick and it won’t stop. I’ve had like 60 orgasms. I can’t figure out how to get the voodoo dick to stop. So I’m heading to Chinatown to ask the man that sold him the voodoo dick.”
The officer looks at the woman in disbelief and says, “Voodoo dick – my ass!”
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