Guy tells hours wife he’s going out for cigarettes. He gets his smokes and waiting to pay when the woman in front of him turns and says, “I just broke up with my boyfriend…I could use some company…”

The dude mulls it over and decides to go home with her. They have sex and he falls asleep…

At 3AM, he wakes in a panic knowing his wife is going to be furious… He yells at the woman, “Where’s your baby powder?” Confused, she says, “Top shelf of the medicine cabinet!”

He puts it all over his hands and hurries home. Sure enough, his wife is waiting up, pissed to no end. He says, “Baby, I went to get smokes and this hot chick came on to me and I’m just a man and I gave in. We fucked and I passed out and just woke up…”

She says, “Show me your hands!” He holds them out, covered in baby powder and she says, “You lying bastard! You were playing pool all night!”

“““““

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A husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and asks, “Who the hell was that?”

The husband answers “Oh, she’s my mistress.”

The wife angrily says, “Well, that’s the last straw, I’ve had enough, and I want a divorce.”

He replies, “I can understand that but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados, no more summers in Tuscany, no more Rolls Royce’s and Ferrari’s in the garage, and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.”

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm and the wife asks, “Who’s that woman with Jim?”

The husband tells her, “That’s his mistress.”

The wife says, “Well, ours is prettier.”

“““““

Married Dating at HappyPersonals.com is where you meet a housewife that wants something on the side.

Dugly goes to his buddy Jake and says … “I’m having an affair with the pastor’s wife. Can you hold him in church for an hour after service for me?”

The friend doesn’t like it but being a buddy, he agrees. After service, Jake starts talking to the pastor, asking him all sorts of stupid questions, just to keep him occupied. Finally the pastor gets annoyed and asks him what he’s really up to.

Jake feeling guilty, finally confesses to the pastor…

“My friend is having an affair with your wife right now, so he asked me to keep you occupied.”

The pastor smiles, puts a brotherly hand on Jake’s shoulder and says…

“You better hurry home now, my wife died a year ago”

“““““

Affair Dating at CheaterAds.com to have a discreet affair.

A man is walking on a beach, and finds a lamp containing a genie that offers him 3 wishes, however, whatever his wish, his mother-in-law gets double of it.

The man is upset at first since he hated his mother-in-law, but decides to try it out.

“I wish for a hundred million dollars” the man told the genie.

The genie nods his head, and $100,000,000 appears before the man.

“Gtanted, but Your mother-in-law now has $200,000,000 as well” said the genie.

“Aww man… okay… I wish for a 100 room mansion, with servants”.

The genie nods, and a massive mansion appeared by the man, with a full crew of servants lined up in front.

“Granted, but your mother-in-law now has TWO mansions, and twice as many servants” the genie replied, “You have one wish remaining”.

“Man, this is some bull…I hate that old bat…” the man said as he thought about his last wish.

Suddenly he smiled widely, picks up a tree branch, and hands it to the genie.

“What is this?” The genie asked.

“I wish for you to take this stick, and beat me half to death!”

“““““

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