Month: September 2020

So a girl posts a dating ad online for a single guy

She’s looking for a man who won’t beat her, who won’t run away and who’s also good in bed.

The next day, her doorbell rings. She opens the door and sees this guy with no arms and no legs.

He says: “Hey, I saw your ad, and I figured I’m exactly the kind of guy you’re looking for. I’ve got no arms, so I can’t beat you. And I’ve got no legs, so I can’t run away!”.

She replies: “Well… but are you good in bed?”

To which he answers: “How do you think I rang the doorbell?”

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So a KGB inspector goes to visit a Siberian prison to check on the inmates in their cells.

First he goes to the first cell and asks the inmate “why were you arrested?” The inmate replies him “My watch was always 10 minutes late and thus i was always late for work so they assumed that i was late because i was planning a coup”.

He then proceeds to go to the second cell and asks the inmate the same question. The inmate replies him “My watch was always 10 minutes ahead and thus i always came early for work so they assumed that i came early because i’m a western spy.”

After that he goes to the third cell and asks inmate the same question like the previous 2. The inmate replies him “My watch was always correct and thus i always came to work on time so they assumed that i smuggled the watch from the west.”

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The National Poetry Contest had come down to two finalists a Yale graduate and a redneck from Wyoming. They were given a word, then allowed two minutes to study the word and come up with a poem that contained the word. The word they were given was “Timbuktu”.

First to recite his poem was the Yale graduate. He stepped to the microphone and said:
Slowly across the desert sand Trekked a lonely caravan. Men on camels, two by two Destina
tion—Timbuktu.
The crowd went crazy! No way could the redneck top that, they thought. The redneck calmly made his way to the microphone and recited:

Me and Tim a-huntin went, Met three whores in a pop up tent. They was three, and we was two, So I bucked one, and Timbuktu.

The redneck won hands down!

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An Indian politician was visiting a foreigner politician. He saw foreigner politicians had a big house and 2 luxury cars. He askes him how is it possible as the salary of a politician is not that much.

Foreigner politician took indian politician on drive and said “do you see this 10 lanes highway?”

Indian Politician: Yes

Foreigner Politician: The budget was for 12 lanes 🙂

Couple of years later same foreigner politician was visiting same indian politician. He was shocked when he saw indian politician had 3 big mansions and multiple luxury cars. He asked indian politician that how did he do that in that short period of time. Indian politician took him on the roof of his mansion and said
“do you see that 10 lane highway?”

Foreigner politician: I don’t see it

Indian politician: Me neither 🙂

“””””

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