Doctor: “Unfortunately sir, you have only 1 week to live.”

Man: “Doc, what on Earth are you saying?”, clearly shocked. “What can I do to live at least a little longer?”

Doc: “Well, do you eat greasy and fried food?”
Man: “Yes.”
Doc: “You must stop!”

Man: “If it allows me to live longer, I’ll do it!”
Doc: “Do you drink sodas and eat fast food?”
Man: “Yes.”
Doc: “You must stop!”

Man: “If it allows me to live longer, okay.”
Doc: “Do you stay up late?”
Man: “Yes.”
Doc: “You must stop!”

Man: “If it allows me to live longer, then I shall.”
Doc: “Do you have sex often?”
Man: “Yes.”
Doc: “You must stop!”

Man: “If it allows me to live longer, then I’ll do that too.”
Doc: “Do you smoke?”
Man: “Yes.”
Doc: “You must stop!”

Man: “If it allows me to live longer, I will.”
Doc: “Do you drink?”
Man: “Yes…”
Doc: “You must stop!”

Man: “OK doctor, but you didn’t tell me, if I do all the things you told me to do, how much longer will I live?”

Doc: “You will still live for a week… but it will seem like a century.

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

Son: “Dad, I have to do a special report for school. Can I ask you a question?”

Father: “Sure son. What’s the question?”

Son: “What is Politics?”

Father: “Well, let’s take our home for an example. I am the wage earner, so let’s call me “Capitalism”. your mother is the administrator of money, so we’ll call her “Government”. We take care of your need, so let’s call you “The People”. We’ll call the maid “The Working Class” and your little brother, we can call “The Future”. Do you understand son?

Son: “I’m not really sure, dad. I’ll have to think about it.”

That night awakened by his brother’s crying, the boy went to see what was wrong. Discovering that the baby had seriously soiled his diaper, the boy went to his parents’ room and found his mother sound asleep. He went to the maid’s room, where, peeking through the keyhole, he saw his father in bed with the maid. The boy’s knocking went totally unheeded by his father and the maid, so the boy returned to his room and went back to sleep. The next morning he reported to his father.

Son: “Dad, now I think i understand what politics is.”

Father: “Good son! Can you explain it to me in your own words?”

Son: “Well Dad, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, Government is sound asleep, the People are being completely ignored and the Future is full of shit.”

“““““

Loco Domains has .site Domains names for only $2.99, .online for only $4.99, .com only $8.99.

With his wife now eight months pregnant, a man was severely horny. She recognized what he was going through and empathized enough to hand him a fifty-dollar bill.

“Honey, you’re so depressed. Take this money to the woman next door and she’ll sleep with you. But remember: tonight only, okay? Never again!”

He couldn’t believe his ears but, afraid she might change her mind, grabbed the money and ran, but within five minutes was back, totally disappointed.

“She says fifty isn’t enough. She wants hundred!”

His wife was mad, Why that bitch! When she was pregnant and her husband came over here, I only charged him fifty!

“““““

Affair Dating at CheaterAds.com to have a discreet affair.

A koala bear and a lizard are sitting in a tree smoking a joint. The koala bear eats a lot of eucalyptus and is a little bit bigger so his tolerance is pretty good. The lizard however is a lightweight and loses his shit very quickly.

He says to the koala bear “I’m gonna need a drink of water.” So he walks down the branch and takes a drink out of the river. All of a sudden a big swash of water comes along and carries him out into the river. He’s drowning and struggling to keep above water. Well an alligator sees all this happening and swims out to save him. He picks up the lizard on his nose and carries him back to the river bank.

The alligator says “man what the hell were you thinking swimming out there?” The lizard respond “I know I know, but I’m high as hell the koala bear rolled up a huge fattie and here I am.” The alligator says “whoa whoa the koala bear has some weed?”

And the lizard says “yeah he’s right up there.” So the alligator walks to the base of the tree and looks up at the koala and says “koala bear what’s up my brotha!” And the koala bear looks down at him and says

“Holy shit how much water did you drink?!?!”

“““““

EcigVapor is a site about the best in Vapor and E-Juice. EcigVapor.com