Tom had been in the liquor business for 25 years. Finally, sick of the stress, he quits his job and buys 50 acres of land in Alaska, as far from humanity as possible. He sees the postman once a week and gets groceries once a month. Otherwise it’s total peace and quiet.

After six months or so of almost total isolation, someone knocks on his door. He opens it, and a huge, bearded man is standing there.

“Name’s Lars, your neighbor from forty miles up the road. Having a Christmas party Friday night, thought you might like to come. About 5:00.”

“Great”, says Tom, “after six months out here I’m ready to meet some local folks. Thank you.”

As Lars is leaving, he stops. “Gotta warn you … be some drinkin.”

“Not a problem” says Tom. “After 25 years in the business, I can drink with the best of ’em.”

Again, the big man starts to leave and stops. “More ‘n’ likely gonna be some fightin’ too.”

“Well, I get along with people, I’ll be all right. I’ll be there, thanks again.”

“More’n likely be some wild sex, too.”

“Now that’s really not a problem,” says Tom, warming to the idea. “I’ve been all alone for six months! I’ll definitely be there. By the way, what should I wear?”

“Don’t much matter … just gonna be the two of us.”

“““““

Cuckold Dating at CuckoldDater.com for people into Cuckolding.

A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.

The employer is shocked at how professional he is, “Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?”

The man replied “Oh that’s when I went to Yale.”

The employer is even more impressed. “That’s great, you’re hired!”

The man is super happy and says “Yay I got a yob!”

——-

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com

Jeff works hard at the office but spends two nights each week bowling, and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he’s pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, ‘Hey, Jeff! How ya doin?’ His wife is puzzled and asks if he’s been to this club before. ‘Oh no,’ says Jeff. ‘He’s in my bowling league.

When they are seated, a waitress asks Jeff if he’d like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, ‘How did she know that you drink Budweiser?’ ‘I recognize her, she’s the waitress from the golf club. I always have a Bud at the end of the 1st nine, honey.’

A cute stripper with a big ass then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Jeff, starts to rub her big ass all over him and says, ‘Hi Jeffy. Want your usual table dance, big boy?’

Jeff’s wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Jeff follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Jeff tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book.

The cabby turns around and says, ‘Geez Jeff, you picked up a real bitch this time.’

“““““

Big Ass Dating at BigAssMatch.com to meet women with big butts !

A woman adopted a foul-mouthed bird because he was so beautiful and she thought he could be retrained.

The shelter told her the bird lived in a whorehouse for the last decade. When her husband’s car pulled in the drive, she dreaded what the bird would say to him.

The bird looked at the husband and said, “Hi Phil, welcome back.”?

“““““

.xyz Domains names for only $1.99, .site for only $2.99, .com only $8.99 at LocoDomains.com