Mr. Smith, I have reviewed this case very carefully, the divorce court judge said, ” and I’ve decided to give your wife $275 a week. “.

“That’s very fair, your honour,” the husband said. “And every now and then I’ll try to send her a few bucks myself. ”

A man takes his seat at the World Cup Final. He looks to his left and notices that there is a spare seat between himself and the next guy. (self.Jokes)

submitted 19 hours ago by thebestofthebest13

The man: “Who would ever miss the World Cup final?”

The guy: “That was my wife’s seat. We have been to the last five World Cup finals together, but sadly she passed away.”

The man: “That’s terrible, but couldn’t you get another member of the family, friend, or someone else to come with you?”

The guy: “No…they are all at the funeral!”

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Superman is flying around, super horny. He’s flying over a building when he sees Batgirl on the roof, totally naked, legs spread, moaning, “Give it to me. Give it to me!” Superman thinks he might get in trouble with Batman if he bangs Batgirl, but she’s begging for it and he can just use his super speed to get the job done quick. So he does.

He flys down to the roof and, super fast, humps the hell out of Batgirl. He’s done in a few seconds and, wanting to avoid any confrontation, flys off just as fast. Batgirl is shocked. “What the hell was that?!?!” “I don’t know but it hurt like hell”, says the invisible man.

“““““

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Teacher: Can someone use the word Contagious in a sentence?

Student raises hand “I can” My dad said he saw my neighbour painting his house with a three-inch brush. Said its gonna take the cunt ages.