A man was laying on his death bed at home. His beautiful wife sat by his side, holding his hand.

He was dismayed about his wife being with another man. He knew that this was probably inevitable but he wanted to hear it from her. He asked, “wife, do you think that when I am gone you will marry another man?”

“I imagine I will. Although I will miss you a lot my life will still continue…” she said.

“And, do you think you will move him into this house where we live now?” he asked.

“I suppose it will depend on the circumstances but it is a possibility. The house is very nice and I will always think of you when I am in it,” she said.

“And, do you think you will cook my favorite meal, the one you have made for me so many times, Chicken Pot Pie? ” he asked.

“No, of course not! I would never make your favorite meal for him!” she said.

“This means so much to me. Please tell me why wouldn’t cook this meal for him?” he asked.

“He hates Chicken Pot Pie!”

——-

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A couple wants to have sex but their son is in the house. The only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon “quickie ” with their 8-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony with a Popsicle and tell him to report on all the neighborhood activities…

“There’s a car being towed from the parking lot,” he shouted.He began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

“An ambulance just drove by!”

“Looks like the Andersons have company,” he called out.

“Matt’s riding a new bike!”

“Looks like the Sanders are moving!”

“Jason is on his skate board!”

After a few moments he announced… “The Coopers are having sex. Startled, his mother and dad shot up in bed.

Dad cautiously called out…”How do you know they’re having sex?” “Jimmy Cooper is standing on his balcony with a Popsicle.”

——-

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The air hostess comes to know that the old married couple is flying to Hawaii on their 50th marriage anniversary.

She asks them how it feels to be married for so long.

The old man replies: “It all felt like 5 minutes…”

The air hostess was about to reply on the profoundness of what he said, when he earned a slap from the old lady for his next word:

“…underwater”.

“““““

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A wife is cooking eggs in the kitchen when her husband comes running in.

Immediately, he sees the eggs and gasps in horror.

“Be careful! CAREFUL! Put in some more butter! Oh, my GOSH!”

The wife, startled at her husband’s violent reaction, dashes to the fridge to get some butter.

“You’re cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN THEM NOW!”

The wife, concerned by the status of her husband’s mental state,forgets about the butter and goes running to the eggs.

“WE NEED BUTTER! Are you CRAZY??? Where are we going to get the butter? They’re going to stick! HURRY!”

The wife runs to the fri-

“CAREFUL about the eggs! CAREFUL. You NEVER listen to me when you’re cooking! Never! Turn them quickly! Oh not that quickly, don’t you know how to cook? Are you insane? Turn the DAMN EGGS!”

At this point, the wife starts crying, since she has no idea what to do.

She gasps “What is WRONG with you? I know how to cook eggs.”

The husband simply smiles, remarks “I just wanted to show you what it feels like while I’m driving with you in the car”, and leaves.

——-

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