A man had a girlfriend named Wendy. He decided to get a tattoo of her name on his penis. When erect, it read “Wendy”, and when flaccid, all you saw was “W” and “Y”.

Out for dinner one day, he excused himself to the bathroom and went to the urinal, next to him was a Jamaican man. The man took a gander at the Jamaican’s member and realized it had “W” and “Y” tattoo’d on it as well.

He looked at him and said: “So you’re girlfriend’s name is also Wendy?”

The Jamaican replied: “Nah man, it says: Welcome to Jamaica, have a nice day.

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A man in his 20’s and a few of his friend were at a bar for drinks when a lady in her mid to late 40’s started to buy him drinks. Throughout the coarse of the night she kept insisting he go back to her place just around the corner. The man was reluctant but his friends were encouraging him to do it and in a final attempt to lure him back the lady offered him some mother daughter action if he joins her. Know all excited he follows the lady’s lead back to her house. Once home she proceeds to light some candles and put some sensual music on and then started passionately kissing him. The man thinks he has been tricked when the lady stops and says I’m forgetting something, she walks over to the stairs and yells out to up stairs hey mom I’ve got one.

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Blonde gets pulled over by a Blonde police officer and the officer asks for her driver license and registration. She hands the officer the registration but can’t seem to find her license.

She asks the cop what the license looks like, and the officer says that it has your picture on it. As she fumbles through her purse, her compact makeup opens and she sees her face in the mirror. She figures this has to be the license and hands it to the officer.

The officer opens the case, looks at it for a few seconds, hands it back to the blonde and says, Why didn’t you just say you were a police officer?

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I was sent to prison and I said to my cell mate, “I won’t be in here long.”

He replied, “Well the judge did give you 6 years.”

“Yeah I know, but I think my wife will break me out, she’s never let me finish a fucking sentence before.”

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When i was in prison, all i could think about was my wife, and how i missed her.

An inch to the right and it would’ve been a headshot!

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A nerdy accountant is sent to jail for embezzlement and they put him in a
cell with a huge evil looking guy.

The big guy says, “I want to have some sex. You wanna be the husband or
the wife?”

The accountant replies, “Well, if I have to be one or the other, I guess
I’d rather be the husband.”

The big guy says, “Okay. Now get over here and suck your wife’s dick.”

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