There was a little guy sitting at a bar drinking a beer. A while later a huge guy walked into the bar and he went up to the little guy and karate chopped him in the back.

The little guy fell off his bar stool and when he got up the big guy said, ”That was a karate chop from Korea.”
The big guy went to the restroom and the little guy ordered himself another beer.

About 20 minutes later the big guy came back and karate choped the little guy in the back again.

The little guy got up and dusted himself off and the big guy told him,”That was a karate chop from China.”
The little guy got up and decided he wasn’t going to take any more of this, so he left the bar.

About an hour later the little guy comes back to the bar and he hits the big guy in the back. The big guy is knocked out cold and he’s on the floor.

The little guy tells the bartender , ”Tell him that was a crowbar from Sears!”

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A cop pulls over a drunk driver.

The drunk driver says, “Ossssifer, you need to get your records straight. You just asked me for my license, but you took it away yesterday!”

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself. As he walks up to the bar the bartender asks, “What’s the matter?”

The fellow replies, “Well I’ve got these two horses (sniff,sniff), and well… I can’t tell them apart. I don’t know if I’m mixing up riding times or even feeding them the right foods.”

The bartender, feeling sorry for the guy, tries to think of somthing he can do. “Why don’t you try shaving the tail of one of the horses?”

The man stops crying and says, “That sounds like a good idea, I think I’ll try it.”

A few months later he comes back to the bar in worse condition than he was before. “What’s the matter now?” the bartender asks.

The fellow, in no condition to be in public, answers, “I shaved the tail of one of the horses (sob, sob), but it grew back and I can’t tell them apart again!”

The bartender, now just wanting him to shut up or leave says, “Why don’t you try shaving the mane, maybe that will not grow back.”The fellow stops crying, has a few drinks, and leaves.

A few months later the fellow is back in the bar. The bartender has never seen anybody in this sorry of a state. Without the bartender even asking the fellow breaks into his problems. “I.. I shaved the (sob) mane of one of the (sniff) horses, and… it… it… grew back!”

The bartenter, now furious at the guy’s general stupidity, yells, “For crying out loud, just measure the stupid horses. Perhaps one is slightly taller than the other one!” The fellow can not believe what the bartender has said and storms out of the bar.

The next day the fellow comes running back into the bar as if he had just won the lottery. “It worked, it worked!” he exclaims. “I measured the horses and the black one is two inches taller than the white one!”

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One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

”It’s supposed to be a tiger!” Sally cried.

”Honey,” said Dan, “Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!”

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