There were three POWs

There were three POWs together in a British prison in the Second World War, a German, a Japanese, and an Italian.

The British began by torturing the German. After long hours of silence infected by bloodcurdling screams, he talked, and was sent back to the prison, ashamed. He told the others what he had done and urged them to be stronger than he was.

They next began torturing the Japanese man. Through all the pain and agony, he stayed strong for three days, but in the end, talked. He was sent back to the prison, having brought shame to himself, his family, and his country.

They finally sent in the Italian. For an unending three weeks, they tortured him, until they realized if they did anything else to the poor man, he would die, so they sent him back. When he got back to the prison cell bloody and battered, the other POWs asked him, “So? Did you talk?”
“How could I talk with my hands tied behind my back?”

“““““

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A man goes to a doctor

A man goes to a doctor and says, “Doc, you gotta check my leg. Something’s wrong. Just put your ear up to my thigh, you’ll hear it!”

The doctor cautiously placed his ear to the man’s thigh only to hear, “Gimme 20 bucks, I really need 20 bucks.”

“I’ve never seen or heard anything like this before, how long has this been going on.” The doctor asked.

“That’s nothing Doc. put your ear to my knee.”

The doctor put his ear to the man’s knee and heard it say “Man, I really need 10 bucks, just lend me 10 bucks!!”

“Sir, I really don’t know what to tell you. I’ve never seen anything like this.” The doctor was dumbfounded.

“Wait Doc, that’s not it. There’s more, just put your ear up to my ankle,” the man urged him.

The doctor did as the man said and was blown away to hear his ankle plead, “Please, I just need 5 bucks. Lend me 5 bucks please if you can.”

I have no idea what to tell you,” the doctor said. “There’s nothing about it in my books,” he said as he frantically searched all his medical reference books.

“I can make a well educated guess though. Based on life and all my previous experience I’d say your leg appears to be broke in three places.”

“““““

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A quack posted a sign

A quack posted a sign on his place which said “Can treat all kinds of illneses for $100. If I can’t, I’ll pay you $100”

A guy tried his luck and went inside.

Guy: hey doc, my sense of taste is messed up

Quack: Okay. Let me get the medicine from the second shelf and you’ll drink one tablespoon of it

[*guy drinks medicine*]

Guy: [*spits*] fuck you, this is gasoline!

Quack: your sense of taste is now working. That will be $100

The guy, mad, paid and left, but returned two days after.

Guy: hey doc, i keep on forgetting things

Quack: Okay. Let me get the medicine from the second shelf and you’ll drink one tablespoon of it

Guy: fuck you, that’s gasoline!

Quack: your mental faculties have been restored. That will be $100

Duped a second time, the fuy angrily paid and left, but returned two days after.

Guy: hey doc, i cant see well.

Quack: [*thinks for some time*] Sorry i dont have a cure for that. A deal is a deal; here’s the money as promised. [*gets money from drawer and gives it to the guy*]

Guy: wait a minute, this is 50 bucks

Quack: good! Your sight has become well. Give that back and pay me $100

“““““

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Priest arrives at the gates of Hell

A Christian Priest arrives at the gates of Hell

“How’d you die?” asked a demon.

The priest replied, “I had a heart attack.”

D: Well what happened?

P: Someone broke my windows, popped the tire on my Harley, and stole all my tools out of my shed.

D: Well that’d give anyone a heart attack. But you’re a priest! Why are you in hell?

P: Well, I was receiving confessionals when a boy walked in and said “Forgive me father, for I have sinned.” I asked what he did. He said “I broke someone’s windows, popped a tire on his Harley, and stole all his tools.” I had a heart attack while I was wringing the little shit’s neck.

“““““

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