An American man goes to China for vacation. Being in a faraway country, he acts carelessly. He visits many brothels and never uses a condom. A week after he returns to the United States, he sees that his penis is full of bright green and purple spots and decides to see a doctor.

The doctor examines the man but can’t diagnose him, so he orders some tests and tells him to come back in two days when he has the results available. The man goes back to the doctor two days later.
Yes doctor, do you know what’s wrong with me?

According to the test results, you have contracted a venereal disease of Mongolian origin, which is rare in these parts.

Then give me some medication or something so I can get better as soon as possible.
I’m sorry, there’s no known cure for this disease. I’m afraid we’re going to have to amputate your penis.
Absolutely not. I want to see another doctor.

OK, it’s your decision. But there’s no other option but to cut it off.
The man walks out of the doctor’s office and after some research he finds a Chinese doctor, assuming he would be more knowledgeable since he was from that region. The Chinese doctor examines the man:

Oh yes, Mongolian venereal disease. It’s very rare.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, I’ve heard all this before. Now tell me how we can cure it. The first doctor I went to was talking about cutting off my penis.

Stupid American doctors. After all, they say surgery is essential in all cases to earn extra money, there is no need to cut off your penis, said the Chinese doctor, laughing.

“Thank God!” says the man, being relieved.
Wait two weeks, and your penis will fall off by itself!

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A Bodybuilder barges into a bar feeling all pumped up to bang a chick. He is confronted with this sexy bimbo waitress who falls head over heals for him.

The guy shows off his muscles and winks at this girl, she responds with A flying kiss of her own. This continues for a while when finally the girl invites this dude to sleep with her at her place. He accepts gleefully. In the room The girl is lying on the bed and the hunk starts to strip off. He takes off his shirt pointing towards his biceps, says “Look at them, these are one thousand pounds of dynamite”

The girl gets blown away at this sight. Next goes off his pants and the focus is on his thighs, saying “Look at them, these are one thousand pounds of dynamite” Now she’s starting to get wet and all ready for the trailor to ride home as the only thing left are the underpants.

The Bodybuilder pulls out the jack pot and lets loose of his jumbo. On sight of his dick the girl, “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh……….. Get away from me” runs away. The guy eventually catches up and asks “What the hell happened?” Girl “Danger! Danger! I had to go, I was scared” Guy “What do you mean?” Girl “With two thousand pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse I thought you were about to explode”

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A man wants to go fishing with his wife and dog.

So he walks up to his wife and says: “Honey, we’re going fishing; you, me and the dog.”

She replies, “I don’t wanna go fishing.”

Man says, “Well, you will either go fishing with me, let me fuck you in the ass, or suck my dick. I’ll give you a few minutes to decide.”

15 minutes later, he asks, “So have you made up your mind?”

She replies, “I guess I’ll just suck your dick since I really don’t wanna go fishing.”

So the wife starts sucking his dick and almost throws up. She says, “Wtf your dick tastes like shit!”

The man replies, “Yeah, the dog didn’t wanna go fishin’ either.”

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A man goes to the doctors complaining of hemorrhoids. Doctor takes a look and exclaims “wow, that’s pretty bad, but have these suppositories that will fix that up right away. Come back in a week and we can re-assess.”

The guy comes back in a week. Doctor: So? How are you feeling? Guy: doc it’s even worse. Doctor: Really? I am surprised those suppositories are the best on the market. Guy: Doc, for the amount of good they did I could have shoved them up my ass.

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